21. Little Deaths/Delights
Mothers Mothers Mothers
Hello hello
I am writing to you from the back of a car off of a plane from Kansas.
On my second flight, the sun was setting and the plane was drenched in the most beautiful pink and orange clouds. While walking through baggage claim, I heard a man behind me complain that our side of the flight was dark. But I was in awe of the sun’s reflection off of the buildings, and then off of the clouds on our side, even if the sun was on the other. Perspective is everything.
I hope you told your Mother that you love her today.
I was watching Autumn Sonata with my father the other night and when the daughter was complaining about how much the mother told her to go away so she could be alone to practice piano, I was struck by what Martha Graham and Leonor Fini said about motherhood and art. They both thought that women couldn’t be both. I don’t know what I think about this but I’ll tell you that I think about it a lot. (I’ll be discussing this more in a long-form video this weekend).
Today I am grateful for a mother who sacrificed a lot, but didn’t lose herself. Who showed me that you can be a mother and a wife, while still being your own person with your own hopes, dreams, and desires.
LITTLE DEATHS
Always returning from home with a suitcase full of books (makes cleaning tricky tricky)
Fear of letting people down
The degradation of girlhood as a subject (We should just call it coming of age at this point if that’s what we need to do to give reverence to reflections)
LITTLE DELIGHTS
Returning from home with a suitcase full of books
Saying no to plans that don’t align with the season of life you are in
Mirrors by
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“When I stopped seeing my Mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.”
“We are raised to believe that mother love is different from other kinds of love. It is not open to error, doubt, or to the ambivalence of ordinary affections. This is an illusion.”
-Nancy Friday in My Mother/Myself
have a nice week
xo
hailo
Love 🫶🏻