Gift Guides for People who Don't Exist
what I would get these characters for Christmas
HUMBERT HUMBERT
A case
Therapy
Less cultural romanticization
RASKOLNIKOV
Stress ball
A diary
Mixhers Hernightly sleep aid - sleepy + cranky = irritable , irritable = murdering the mean old woman everyone owes debts to
ESTHER GREENWOOD
iPhone 15 with tumblr pre-downloaded - bc let’s be honest she would dominate that platform, she would revive it from its …