I miss Ballet, does Ballet miss me?
& Ask Hot Literati #9
I did ballet for 15 years.
I wrote about ballet for the first time my sophomore year of high school. My teacher was this guy who ran for president every four years as a joke. What else was a creative writing teacher in Kansas supposed to do? He said it was the best story that he’d ever had in that class. I was happy, and then I was scared. Because it was my first time writing about something that had actually happened and that had felt conflicting.
The best writing is truthful. The truth can really hurt.
I miss ballet because I miss submitting to something. I miss giving myself, mind body and soul, over to something else. It caused this incessant, perfectionist chatter in the head, but when the chatter stopped was how you knew you’d hit a flow state.
That’s the thing that makes me feel strange about writing. Even when you’re in a flow state, the chatter just gets louder and asks more of you. I’m trying to document my writing process a little for a video on our Youtube but looking at yourself in the face like that is a really hard truth.
The two men behind me on my flight back from Kansas this past weekend were talking about submitting to God. I’ve submitted to God over and over and over. I read my Bible. I pray on my knees. I just wish he’d give me some choreography so that I can find a place where the chatter will stop.
and now that i’ve ranted, I will be answering this question:
How do you know when to make a jump in your early 20s? How do you discern what is or isn’t for you? Or when do you let the idea of something being “right” go? (Moving states, going to school, the right job, the right car, Etc.)
upgrade to a paid membership to join our book club as well. we’re voting on the book through the end of the week