This is Why Dating Sucks Right Now
through the lens of American Culture and the Rise of Mass Media
Hello guys.
Hi. My name is hailo. I’m an American girl in your blue light river. I wrote this book, that you can buy now. I have another one coming out in september that some of you have already pre-ordered.
I’ve thought about dating a lot and thought I wanted to date, but a friend of mine once said that you have a creative urge that you should express to sort it out and make something. So instead of dating dating, I studied dating a lot!! and found some really fascinating stuff. And then I’ve been doing more just personal reflection with this guide.
And then at the bottom (under the paywall) are dating tips created with dating app success stories from our community. :)
Here is my deep dive on the history of American Dating.
now onto the advice portion :o
Dating Like You Actually Matter
How to stop optimizing for strangers who don't deserve you
Dating apps want you addicted, not attached. They profit from your loneliness, not your love.
Most dating advice treats you like a desperate consumer in the romance marketplace. Swipe harder. Be hotter. Optimize your bio. Play games. Act unavailable. Manufacture scarcity.
But you're not desperate. You're discerning.
You want someone who can match your intellectual curiosity. Someone who reads books and has opinions about them. Someone who can handle your psychological complexity without trying to fix or diminish it.
You want love that feels like coming home to yourself, not losing yourself.